Have you noticed that boy?

Did you notice that boy
the one in the
back of the classroom
frowning

Is he new to town?
he seems so shy
that frown on his brow
makes me wonder
what’s on his mind
is something is amiss?

I cant help notice
his fine garb
unusual taste
highly discerning
weirdness
does he pick that
apparel himself
or his mamma?

elegant tweed plaid shorts
no expense spared there
contrasting oddly
to those polka dot
knee socks
a moody shade of lavender
with yellow dots
yielding to gold satin slippers
that come to a sharp point
at the toe….
is he for real?

the awkward blondish blue spiky cowlick
is that hair gel, or something
bird-like about his head?
beneath is long lashes
a downward glance
i notice compelling
bright teal eyes
and fine porcelain skin
thin lips pursed
pale pink
pondering the nature of the
something unknown to us?

the suspenders
seem to work
not the old stretchy
kind you often see
these are leather
custom fit
nicely buttoned
to his bloomers

his blouse i recognize
from old movies
starched white
pleated in the front
with elegant
tapered sleeves
the cufflinks at his wrists
not brass or gold
rather polished
platinum or silver
with ruby cabochons
oh dear

the vest appears to be
hand made
from a far away land
probably deerskin
trimmed with satin ribbons
and buttons that…
you guessed it,
match the cufflinks

you would think
he came for a costume ball
prepared for a date
with his beau
rather than meekly
situated
for his first day
of sixth grade

were his parents
confused?
thought this was a
privileged boarding school
where you meet
the right kind of folks
and not a run down
public junior high
on the wrong side
of the tracks

the rest of us,
well we know each other
since kindergarten
a bit of rough and tumble
a scratchy and uncouth
lot we are
we fight and we yell
we work things out
privately so to speak
using fists if needed
to make our point be known

this anomaly
this new kid
we don’t lack compassion
not as tough as
as we seem
and curious to know
what’s beneath his frown
and how to approach
one that appears
so princely so aloof

does he mean to create distance
to keep us at bay
does he mean to draw attention
his demeanor
speaks volumes
however his intention
unclear

is he a poet
an astronomer
a visionary
reaching in his mind
those rarified realms
that you only find
when you read between the lines?

is he queer
unconventional
in his predilections
do his preferences
sway from the norm?

or does he merely
want to make an impression
‘don’t take me lightly’
‘one to contend with’
‘smarter than you guys’
‘don’t push me too hard’
or simply
‘please luv me’

we are all in the same boat
hoping to avoid
detention
or the principles office
to get out of here
we behave accordingly
as is dictated and proper
keeping our voices
dim not too raucous
till we get to rec hall

we are a tribe
we know how to make friends
and lose them
we know how to be a gang
made up of
pure individuality
we have no kerchiefs
to mark our brand
no matching tats
to know that we belong

so when we see
the new boy
in the back of the room
with the frown
all we can feel
is concern
‘will he like us’
‘is he like us’
‘is he on our team’
‘how can we approach’
this character who has descended
from other place
from another time

cause i am curiously
drawn to him
i want to get under his skin
to smell the scent
beneath his costume
to find out what
he is made of
i want to touch
that ephemeral quality
that you only see
as the clouds
move across the sky

there is a quality
who’s decorum
call it gentility
refinement
or
respectability
or is it
false pretense
the arrogance
that often masks shyness
and fear

right now
possessed by my soul
rising inside me
i’m not listening to our teacher
all i want is…
well i just get up and do it
go to the back of the room
standing by his wooden desk
supplicant to his whims
vulnerable to his distant gaze
fearful that he may
turn his head away
in distain

i take his hand
fine fingers
skin startlingly soft
like touching a rose
i look down at him
without flinching my gaze
he looks up at me
slowly
gently
willingly
something in his eye
speaks volumes
in a language
unknown to me

he accepts my hand
gets up gracefully
with intention
stands next to me
there is that weird
pregnant pause
as they say the
moment in life
where you don’t know
what’s going to happen
next

the classroom goes still
very quiet
everyone is staring at us
teacher doesn’t say a word
a clock ticks
in the background
the only sound

except that i am brave
enough to say,
words come to my lips:
‘show me’
his eyes glint
a knowingness
recognizing my need
he takes my other hand
and says,
‘follow me’

we walked out of that classroom
never to be seen again
stepping through that door
i found myself entering
another world
misty clouds speckled
with yellow dots of sunlight
shades of lavender sunsets
where large winged creatures
bigger than birds
floated slowly over our heads

a world that i never imagined
existed
right on the other side of the corridor
where levity and softness
guides the breezes
we step into a little blue dinghy
a sailboat just big enough for two
me in my cut off jeans
and he in his vestments
we didn’t speak a word that day
as we sailed off toward the horizon

cause we had seized the moment
made the impossible choice
to step out of the known
instantly recognizing
the invisible bond
wordless intention
to follow the path
that we forged together

he taught me a lot
about unseen worlds
as i also taught him
about life on the streets
the wisdom of survival
together we made a good pair
for decades we traveled
in our little blue boat
with lavender sails
and yellow polka dots

when our time was done
he navigated us back to the shore
threw a line over to an ancient wooden dock
the smells of tide and seaweed
punctuating our departure

we didn’t say a word
we didn’t discuss
how it was going to be
nor share any sadness nor grief

he looked up at me with those
watery aquiline eyes
still wearing those breeches
the cufflinks sparkling in the sun
and smiled
nodded
a journey well taken across the sea
where his homeland
in the stars
had greeted me
fondly

now that I’m a grandpa
having raised my own family
on the streets of earth
i will always remember
the boy in the back of the room
with the little frown on his brow
who taught me how to be
proud of my manhood
a man to be reckoned with
who lives between the lines
who is no longer afraid to be
a slightly different

and i can still congratulate myself
for that day I stood up
walked to the back of the class
picked up his hand
looked into his eye
as if saying
“I am ready.”

March 24, 2026
Fort Lauderdale 11 am

Author’s Note. I was feeling the tenderness and awkwardness this morning of being the oddball in my middle school classroom. There is a theme I’ve been delving into, of trauma, and specifically of feeling conflicting needs around boys/men/sons/fathers, and how that affects my personal relationships. Just allowing myself to feel both vulnerable, awkward, courageous, fearful, and desiring, all overlapping. I had a picture in my mind of a weird, queer kid at the back of the room, the shame, confusion and often joy, you could even say the self-confidence that i had at that age. I started a few lines of the story, and it went in a totally different direction than i had imagined…..a sort of courageous romance of a voyage to unexpected places. I was a sailor at that age, had a small sailing dinghy, and it was my happy place, to escape the world of dysfunctional adults and to be in my own secret world. I don’t write with any particular intention, except to feel deeply. I hope that these words will uplift our youth, or the youthful adults in us that feel alienated or separate from the world as we find it.